We show how engineered classical noise can be used to generate constrained Hamiltonian dynamics in atomic quantum simulators of many-body systems, taking advantage of the continuous Zeno effect. After discussing the general theoretical framework, we focus on applications in the context of lattice gauge theories, where imposing exotic, quasilocal constraints is usually challenging. We demonstrate the effectiveness of the scheme for both Abelian and non-Abelian gauge theories, and discuss how engineering dissipative constraints substitutes complicated, nonlocal interaction patterns by global coupling to laser fields.